In my work with individuals, I am blessed to meet with individuals who express love and compassion for another. It's so comforting to me to hear that these individuals want to see others succeed. Their faces light up when they talk about others - family, friends, significant others. I find myself admiring and respecting these individuals who give so selflessly and genuinely and only care that the others' needs are met. Then, as the discussion goes on as to why they wanted to seek out counseling, I feel sadness and my heart turns heavy. The belief that others are so important and should be respected, sadly, is not internalized for these individuals. They express loneliness and despair within themselves and then I hear the most despairing words..."I'm not worth it". These people, who will express their love and deep respect for another, find it most difficult to love and respect themselves. Their internal comparison of themselves to others just does not meet their standards for themselves. What brings us to this level of a lack of self-worth and self-esteem? How can we hold others in such high regards, and totally disregard ourselves? Much of this comes from constant comparison - whether provided to us by others or our own negative perceptions of ourselves as we were forming our identity. "I'm not good enough" or "I'm not worth it" resonates in the dialogue with these individuals. Providing self-love and internalizing our worth is one of the most critical growth experiences we can provide ourselves to live a fulfilling life. So many times we gain our self-worth from what we feel we can provide others. But who provides for us? In this busy world, we can find ourselves so alone - simply due to the fact that we struggle with being with ourselves - finding time to just sit and revel in who we were created to be. Do you LIKE yourself? Are you happy with who you are? If not, it may be time to reflect and spend some time giving to someone who deserves the love and affection - YOU! Get to know YOU. Find out what it is that YOU enjoy. Seek out YOURSELF throughout your day, telling yourself the things you enjoy saying to others to make them happy. Really soak in the positive thoughts! Each and every one of us is deserving of the happiness of a fulfilling life. If we think we are letting ourselves down - why do we feel that way? Is it fear keeping us from doing what we want to do and therefore not giving ourselves the opportunities to create our possibilities? And become who we were destined to be? Spending some time with ourselves, and enjoying who we are, is necessary for creating our ideal lives. If you struggle with looking inside, I invite you to come look into a mirror - your own reflection at The Well!
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